Edward Martin Lacey

Edward Martin Lacey passed away in February 2008 from a long illness complicated by other conditions, he was 35 years old and lived in Swindon, Wilts.

He left a son, Darius who was 9 years old. He was the first born son of Martin Lacey Snr, a director of The Great British Circus (www.greatbritishcircus.co.uk)

EULOGY FOR MY BROTHER, EDDY

From an early age he showed an amazing artistic talent and his affinity with animals was amazing. It was fortunate that he was born into a Zoological background as our Mother, Stella Quayle, is a wildlife artist and zoologist (www.beaverwaterworld.com)

It was unfortunate that the breakup of the parental relationship led the family away from zoos at an impressionable age for Eddy.

In recent years, however, he turned his hand to various occupations including building, automotive electronics plus a brief foray into antique dealing and a spell working with his father in his circus.

It’s fair to say he was no angel and got up to a fair few antics in his time. Some of them so spectacular in nature, that it’s only with hindsight, many years later, that we have found ourselves able to laugh about some of them. But it was his loving and helpful attitude to people and his personality that enabled him to "charm the birds from the trees".

Most of my memories are confined to his early years because I left home when he was 6. Whilst writing this I realise I never really knew him as an adult. To me he was a happy go-lucky lad who fitted in with his 3 sisters and visits with his elder brother, Tim. He endured all our fads and fashions. I remember him as a lovely little boy without a care in the world. I also remember meeting up with my mates on a Saturday and taking Eddy with me. They’d coo over him and we all agreed he’d be a heart-breaker when he grew up. I was very proud of him.

Emma’s memories of Eddy were as a teen during the early 80s’ Rock & Roll revival sporting a Teddy Boy’s quiff and later his attempts at break-dancing and body-popping not forgetting, of course, his enduring obsession with hair-gel.

The years flew by and we all went our separate ways. We brought up our own families and, apart from Mother, we all lost touch. The last I heard, Eddy was living on his own in Swindon and had found his faith in the Catholic Church. I remember thinking to myself ‘Ah, he’ll be ok now...’

When I visited Eddy in hospital for the first time a couple of weeks ago, I worked out that I hadn’t seen him for about 16 years. During that visit he told me he was determined to get better for good this time. He said, “This is it, I want to see my son Darius grow up – I want to be there for him”.

The one good thing to come from Eddy’s passing was that it brought the feuding sisters together. We all travelled many miles to be at his bedside. I remember marvelling at the sight of Eddy, Emilie, Emma, Mother and myself all in the same room at the same time, united in our concern for him.

I have realised just how short life is. How futile silly arguments and feuds are. How much we really love each other despite our differences and how grateful we should be to Eddy for being the unwitting catalyst that reunited our family.

We are also thankful that Eddy was not alone in his final moments as Emilie made it to the hospital when the rest of us were not able to.
There is a sense of unreality for our family in coming to terms with the death of its youngest member, and also a member who lived at a distance from us, and whom we rarely saw. So I’d like to end with these words of comfort written by David Harkness:

You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Eddy, we hope you’re now healed in a place where the world could not heal you.

Rest in peace

Love, Sarah

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Eddy's funeral was held on Wednesday, 5th March 2008 with donations in lieu of flowers to NSPCC in memory of Edward Lacey to be sent directly to:

A E Smith & Son, Funeral Directors, Queens Drive, SWINDON, Wilts SN3 1AW Tel: 01793 522023

The music playing on this memorial site is Eddy's exit music at his funeral as the curtain closed in front of his coffin. As the lyrics say, he had 'many rivers to cross ...'

UPDATE: Aug 08 - another good thing to come from Eddy's passing was that we got in touch with his half brother, Martin Lacey Jnr, who works with lions in Circus Krone in Germany. He and his wife celebrated the birth of their first child the same month that Eddy died. Thanks for getting in touch ... ;o)